When rejected for a job, get to know your weak points

Anjali has found the perfect job opening; her experience and skills are tailor-made for the position. The interview went great and she can almost visualise herself in the new role. But, unbelievably a rejection wings her way and she can do nothing else but speculate ‘why?’

Well, its obvious that something went wrong somewhere. The reasons can be as varied as a lack of match in qualifications, work style or some other characteristic to simply finding someone who is better suited for the position. Else, she may even have unknowingly messed up in the interview leading to her disqualification. Yet, Anjali cannot rest until she knows the true reason.

In fact, understanding why one was rejected is quite crucial as it can help in one’s future job search, even improving the chances of success the next time round.

Well, if you are really keen on finding out why you were unsuccessful, it makes sense to forthrightly ask the hiring manager the same.

This may appear a bit unpalatable considering that he has just rejected you, but remember that by far he is the only one who knows why you really didn’t get the job.

So, begin by telephoning/emailing the person who interviewed you and requesting feedback on where you fell short for the open position. You can say/write something like, “I was wondering if you might be willing to give me some advice for the future: Are there things you could share with me about what I could have done to be a stronger candidate?”

You can vary the phrasing of questions like, ‘What did I do well?’ ‘Where did I lack? ‘How could I have performed better?’ But what is important is to sound polite and sincere in a way that makes him want to help you.

Bear in mind that you will not try to churn the past by arguing the decision, rationalising your behaviour or get him to change his mind. Your only aim is to solicit objective pointers on where you went wrong as well as how you can improve for the future.Despite your best efforts, the hiring manager may not always be willing to state the true reasons openly. Most interviewers are afraid that they will say something wrong that invites legal action and prefer to either remain silent or resort to vague responses to the tune of ‘You did not fit in’ or ‘we decided to go in a different direction’!

If you do get lucky and manage to elicit a candid response, you have to remain professional in the face of the honest critique even if you don’t like what you hear. Try to engage in a pleasant conversation without getting the wee bit defensive. Instead courteously press for additional guidance on what skills or knowledge you need to gain further, how you can improve in the interview or even other outlets for your job search.

In addition, you can also subtly request the interviewer to keep you in mind if another position becomes available where you would be a good fit!

Once you gain some solid suggestions like ‘missing a critical skill’, ‘need to upgrade qualifications’ or ‘underplaying during interview’, immediately make a start on the same so as to develop yourself for the next opportunity.

And, never forget to appreciate the feedback with a genuine ‘Thank you’ that shows that you really value the opinions.

In short, prudently seeking feedback on a job rejection displays your confidence and maturity in a way that leaves a lasting positive impression. What’s more, if the candidate they hired turns down the job or does not work out, guess who they are likely to turn to next.

faqs@cnkonline.com
http://beta.thehindu.com/life-and-style/money-and-careers/article25546.ece

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பிறந்த மண்ணில் எப்போது ஜெயிக்கப்போகிறோம் ?

பிறந்த மண்ணில் எப்போது ஜெயிக்கப்போகிறோம் ?

நம் ஊரில் உள்ளவர்கள் பலர் வெளிநாடுகளில் இருந்தாலும், பொருளாதார ரீதியாக பெரிய முன்னேற்றம் அடைய ஆசைஇருந்தும் முடியாமல் போனதற்க்கு கீழ்க்கண்ட விதிமுறைகளும் / வசனங்களும்தான் முட்டுக்கட்டை என்று எங்கு வந்து சத்தியம் செய்ய சொன்னாலும் நான் செய்வேன்.

• ஒருவன் உழைத்து 10 பேர் சாப்பிடுவது/ சில குடும்பங்களில் 10 க்கு அதிகமானோர்.
• நீதானே வாப்பா வீட்டுக்கு மூத்தவன்!!! நீதானே காப்பாத்தனும்!!! என்ற உயர்ந்த தத்துவத்தில் மயங்கி சொந்தஙகளில் உள்ள பல சோம்பேறிகளுக்கு படியளப்பது..
• வரதட்சணை என்ற கொடுமையும்/ கொசுறாக வலமை என்ற பாரம்பரியமும்.[ வலமை சாப்பாடு எல்லாம் ஊரில் உள்ள வெட்டிஆபிசர்கள் அரம்பித்தது என்பது தெரியாமலே கடைபிடிக்க ஆரம்பித்து அரை நூற்றான்டு ஆகிவிட்டது [உதாரணம்: மாப்பிள்ளைத்தோழன் சாப்பாடு]20 வயது மாப்பிள்ளைக்கு 60 வயதை தாண்டிய பெரியவர்களும் தோழன் மாதிரி வந்து சாப்பிட்டு விட்டு போகும் கணக்குதான் இன்று வரை எனக்கு "வெளங்கலெ'
• வெளிநாட்டில் மட்டும் தான் வாழ முடியும் / சம்பாதிக்க முடியும் என்ற தவறான நம்பிக்கை.
• நிறைய வருமானம் தரும் தொழில்கள்/ Financial Products [ Compliance with Islamic principles] பல இருந்தும் "தோப்பு / தொரவுகளில் வைத்து இருக்கும் அசைக்கமுடியாத நம்பிக்கை.இதில் "தென்னயப்பெத்தா இளநீர் / பிள்ளயைப்பெத்தால் கண்ணீர்' என்ற தோப்பு விற்க்கும் ஏஜண்ட் கண்டுபிடித்த பழமொழி வேறு துணையாக
• நம் கண் முன்னால் பல வெளியூர்காரர்கள் ந்ம் ஊரிலேயே முன்னேறியும் நம் மீது நம்பிக்கையின்மை.

வெளிநாட்டில் வேலை பார்க்கும் என் நண்பர்கள் பெரும்பாலும் சொல்லும் வசனம் ' இந்த தடவையோட 'முடிச்சிட்டு' போயிடலாம்னு"[EXIT] இருக்கேன்.

இனிமேலாவது ஊருக்கு போனவுடன் வீட்டுப்பெண்களின் சண்டைக்கு முக்கியத்துவம் கொடுத்து பேசுதல்,பட்டுக்கோட்டைக்கும் / அதிராம்பட்டினத்துக்கும் பேயாக அலைதல். [ யாருடைய கார்/பைக் போனாலும் ' வா போயிட்டு 1 மனி நேரத்தில் வந்திடலாம் என்பதுதான் பெரும்பாலும் அந்த நாளின் முக்கிய நேரத்தை தின்றுவிடும்.

மற்றும் இன்னபிற தேவைகளில்[காது குத்து / சுன்னத் / கல்யாணம் போன்ற தேவைகளில் தனக்கு முக்கியத்துவம் தருவது ஏதோ தனக்கு ஆக்ஸ்போர்டில் பட்டம் கிடைத்துவிட்டதாக மயங்காமல், நீஙகள் அங்கு இல்லாவிட்டாலும் காது குத்தப்படும் என்ற உண்மை அறிக!

மற்றும் தோப்பு / கடற்க்கரை / ராஜாமடம் பாலம் / புளியமரம் /மெயின் ரோடு/ செக்கடிமேடு விசிட்டிங் , பள்ளிவாசலில் தொழுகை முடிந்தவுடன் 2 மணி நேரம் பேசியும் நேரம் போனது தெரியாமல் இருப்பது இவைகளை தவிற்க்கலாம்.

சரி இப்படி எழுதுவதால் ஒய்வாக இருக்கும் நேரம்தானே இதுவெல்லாம் தவறா? "பொழுதுபோக்குதானே" என நினைக்கலாம். " பொழுது உங்களை போக்காமல் பார்த்துக்கொள்ளுங்கள்" என்றுதான் சொல்கிறேன்."ஊரில் செட்டிலகானும்பா'என்றால் ஏதாவது அதற்க்காக செய்ய வேண்டும் இல்லையா?. அதற்க்கு சம்பந்தம் இல்லாத செயல்களை செய்தால் எப்படி வாழ்க்கையில் ஜெயிப்பது?

இப்போதைய இந்தியாவை நோக்கி நிறைய நாடுகள் தொழில் தொடங்கவும் முதலீடுகள் செய்யவும் ஆரம்பித்து விட்டன. விசுவின் அரட்டை அரங்கத்தில் சொல்லப்படும் இந்தியபெருமைகளில் மயங்கிவிடாமல் உங்களை சார்ந்தவர்களுக்கும் / உங்களுக்காகவும் முன்னேர இன்றே முடிவெடுத்துவிடுங்கள்.

இந்த பிரபஞ்சத்தை ஆளும் வல்ல இறைவன் உங்கள் நேர்மையான தேவைகளை நிச்சயம் நிறைவேற்றுவான் [இன்ஷா அல்லாஹ்]

ZAKIR HUSSAIN

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Your broadband connection may soon become ten times faster

In what could boost the capacity of strained broadband networks and improve download time worldwide, scientists have developed a new optical fibre technology to transmit tenfold more data over existing cables.

An international team, led by Monash University, has pioneered the innovation which is known as optical Orthogonal Frequency-Division Multiplexing, or oOFDM.

The technology applies Asymmetric Digital Subscriber Line principles -- already used to expand the capacity of data transfer over traditional copper and wireless broadband -- to optical fibre cables, potentially increasing their data capacity tenfold.

Team leader Arthur Lowery said there was an exponential growth in data-intensive Internet applications.

"More and more people are accessing broadband Internet and using it for data-heavy activities, such as video. This poses a major challenge to the existing optical fibre infrastructure unless the capacity or bandwidth on existing fibres can be augmented.

"The appeal of oOFDM is that it offers an inexpensive means of dramatically increasing long-haul capacity from the current transmission rate of 10 Gigabits per second to more than 100 Gigabits per second, over new and existing optical fibre," he said.

According to the scientists, the innovation would allow the world's telecommunications carriers to meet a growing consumer demand for faster download speeds without major cost.

"Standard data transmission is equivalent to transmitting a series of single notes, but oOFDM is more like transmitting the notes grouped together in a chord. Since more data is packed into the chord, more information can be sent that is less prone to technical issues, as each signal travels down the optical fibre," Prof Lowery said.

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Microsoft opens Windows 7 to re-charged PC growth

October 20, 2009 09:51 IST

Call it serendipity or a well-calculated move. Whatever the case, software giant Microsoft [ Images ] appears to have got the timing right for the launch of its much-hyped operating system Windows 7 on October 22.

And while commercial and enterprise users gave the thumbs down to the 'memory guzzler' (anathema for PC users) Windows Vista, analysts say Windows 7 will find many takers globally and in India too.

The timing, say analysts, coincides with the world's appetite for personal computers picking up again after the global slowdown.

"Windows 7 will benefit from two drivers in the enterprise market. One is the long-awaited IT replacement cycle ticking in and the second is the related uptake in IT investments. For the consumer markets, too, Windows 7 will become the de facto standard for new purchases," says Alok Shende, principal analyst, Ascentius Consulting.

Research firm IDC, too, says such growth ahead of the launch of Windows 7 bodes well for it. It predicts that around 177 million copies of the operating system will be in place by the end of 2010, and estimates that products and services surrounding Windows 7 will generate $320 billion.

"Undoubtedly, there was a lot of hype over Windows 7. And there was hardly any enthusiasm over Windows Vista since the emphasis of the OS was on snazzy graphics that gobbled memory. With Windows 7, Microsoft appears to have got its priorities right. Windows 7 is a kind of Vista OS which has been optimised to the core," says Sumanta Mukherjee, lead PC analyst, IDC India.

Microsoft will release its India pricing on October 22. "It will be more or less the same as Vista, and cheaper in some editions," according to a Microsoft spokesperson.

While the Microsoft Vista Home basic costs around Rs 3,500, the Home Premium version is priced at Rs 4,800. Microsoft Vista Business costs around Rs 6,400 while Microsoft Vista Ultimate is priced at Rs 9,500. The prices may vary by city and partner.

Consumers may start lapping up Windows 7 initially since PC manufacturers in India had been offering an option to freely upgrade from Vista. The Microsoft OS (XP, Vista included) is estimated to have an around 70 per cent market share in India.

The rest comprises the disk operating system or DOS (which is latter upgraded to another OS -- mostly a pirated Microsoft OS or a Linux one), Apple OS (the latest being Snow Leopard) and Linux variants (from Red Hat and Novell).

However, "enterprises may take at least six months before they adopt Windows 7 since they like to wait for the first service pack," explains Mukherjee.

Windows 7 is being likened to 'an evolution of Vista' by some analysts. It has the same system requirements. For instance, notes Mukherjee, even Netbooks (scaled-down notebooks) will be able to use Windows 7. Imagine doing that with Vista.

What is working in Microsoft's favour, note analysts, is that the software giant has been speaking to PC manufacturers and third-party vendors for the past few months.

Globally, PC manufacturers like Hewlett Packard and Dell are hoping for a big boost in sales of new machines with Windows 7 in the run-up to Christmas and research analysts say the launch will have an immediate impact on PC unit growth.

Microsoft, despite claims to the contrary, has not had much success with Vista which was launched in 2006. Analysts estimate that just one fifth of the world's 1.2 billion computers use Vista.

About four fifths use Windows XP (launched in 2001), introduced eight years ago, or even older Windows operating systems. XP is eight years old, but still runs on 70 per cent of all the Windows PCs across the globe. Microsoft will end active support for XP by 2014, and extended support by 2017.

Moreover, around 58 per cent of corporate customers were either dissatisfied or extremely dissatisfied with Vista, according to Credit Suisse. With Windows 7, which has been available in pre-release versions for several months, only 21 per cent are dissatisfied and none extremely dissatisfied.

But there are costs associated with the upgrades and migration to Windows 7. Gartner estimates that migration costs could be between $1,035 to $1,930 for a user to move from Windows XP to Windows 7, and $339 to $510 from Windows Vista. Large corporations can expect to spend millions of pounds upgrading.

Last, but not the least, Microsoft is being threatened by 'cloud computing' (vast data centres that host numerous software eapplications remotely which will eliminate the need to buy upgrades in a box or maintain hard drives at home or in office) initiatives from Google and Apple.

Search giant Google has already announced that it will soon launch a free PC operating system, Chrome OS. However, says Mukherjee, "in India, it will be some time before cloud computing initiatives pick up".

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Smile

September 2, 2009 by Bret L. Simmons · Filed under: Happiness

The final intentional activity from The How of Happiness is taking care of your body. Recall from my earlier blog that it’s these intentional activities and habits that can account for as much as 40% of our happiness. The first intentional activity was expressing gratitude, the second was deliberate optimism, the third was to stop overthinking and comparing ourselves to others, the fourth was practicing acts of kindness, the fifth was social support, the sixth was coping with stress, the seventh was learning to forgive, the eight was increasing flow, the ninth was savoring the positive, the tenth was committing to your goals, and the eleventh was practicing spirituality and religion.

Dr. Lyubomirsky suggests that taking care of your body can be done through meditation, physical exercise, and acting like a happy person. Most of us can’t meditate or exercise at work, but we can act like a happy person.

Smile. It is the easiest way to act like you are happy. People will respond to you differently, more positively.

Today in class I was explaining a concept and got myself tied in a knot. A student called me on my explanation. He knew I confused the issue, and so did I. Thirty pairs of eyes were on me, and inside I was feeling the anxiety mount. There was a tiny voice of experience in my head that told me this is a critical moment – don’t blow it!

I smiled. I chuckled and cracked a joke about myself. And instead of trying to escape the tension and brush off the question my student posed, I just stood silent, smiling, until I found a way out of the knot I had tied myself in.

My class smiled with me. Almost all of them wanted to see me untie myself, and smiling with each other through those uncomfortable moments helped us work through it.

Live above your circumstances and choose to smile a lot at work today. You will feel better, and so will those around you

Read more: http://www.bretlsimmons.com/2009-09/smile/#ixzz0TXMgbMFt

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How to Deal with Crying in the Office

September 28, 2009 by Bret L. Simmons · Filed under: Attitudes, Leadership

Here is a short video from www.howdini.com about crying in the office. The main point the video makes is try not to cry at work, and if something happens and you do start crying, get your composure back as quickly as possible. I can’t disagree with any of that.

But one of the first things the expert in this video says is “One must always remember that work is about facts, it’s not about feelings.” I strongly disagree.

Like it or not, we are emotional beings. Effective leaders don’t dismiss that fact, they embrace it.

Two of the most powerful drivers of employee performance are job satisfaction and organizational commitment. Satisfied and committed employees are more likely to outperform those that hate their job, your organization, and you. These attitudes are very affect laden, and it’s the affective component of the attitude that makes them so powerful.

As a leader, the way to deal with a crying employee is to treat the crying as a symptom and not a problem. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it is a natural way that our bodies deal with stress by releasing emotions. If there is something in the work environment that caused such an extreme emotional reaction, it needs to be identified and dealt with.

Be thankful if you witness the crying at work. If employees are chronically crying at home due to work related stress, you might miss these signs of burnout. You better care about that, because employee burnout is a bottom line issue.

Read more: http://www.bretlsimmons.com/2009-09/how-to-deal-with-crying-in-the-office/#ixzz0TXJ1Z1FZ

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Latest Job Opening

Title: QualityPoint Technologies is looking for Software Engineers Date: Fri, 9 Oct 2009 Posted on: Fri, 9 Oct 2009, 11:13 amKey skills: php, mysql, html, javascriptNo. of vacancies: 3Education: B.E/B.Tech/MCAPosted by: companyContact person: RajamanickamWebsite: www.qualitypointtech.comDescription: QualityPoint Technologies is looking for "Software Engineers" to work in Chennai/Ottapidaram Offices. Qualification - BE/MCA Freshers with Good Academic Records can apply. Send your resume to qualitypointmail@gmail.com Nature of job - Web development using php/mysql/html/javascript/ajax and software development using .netLandline number: +91-461-236 6798Mobile number: +91-98844 41192

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பெற்றோரைப் பேண்

பாரில் உன்னை உயிருடன் உதிர்த்து
பண்பெனும் பாலூட்டினார் அன்னை..

ஊரில் உன்னை அனைவரும் மதிக்க
அறிவெனும் சோறூட்டினார் தந்தை..

நாரில் பூவாய் என்றும்நீ மணக்க
நாதாக்கள் ஆற்றிய நற்பணியை
நேரில் காணும் நெஞ்சம் துடிக்க
நம்கண் உதிர்க்கும் நீர்த்துளியை..!


பெரியவன் ஆனதும் பெற்றோர்க்கு
பனிசெய்து கிடந்திடு என்றும்நீ

பொதிஇவன் என்றுஉன் தந்தையை
பழித்து விடாதே ஒருபோதும்
கொதித்து எழுவாள் உனதன்னை- உருக்
குலைந்து விடுவாய் உடனேநீ..!

சிரித்து அவர்களை உபசரித்தால்
செழித்திடும் உனது எதிர்காலம்..


கண்ணீர்க் கடலை கடந்தவர்கள்
கவலையறி யாதுனை வளர்த்தவர்கள்..

தண்ணிர் அற்ற நடுக் காட்டினிலே
தவிக்க விடாதே அவர்களைநீ..

முன்னூறு நாளுனை சுமந்ததற்கு
மூச்சடக்கி உன்னை ஈன்றதற்கு
முன்னேறும் வேளையில் பெற்றோரை
மூழ்க விடாதே ஆழ்கடலில்..!!!

-K.கிருஷ்ணமூர்த்தி

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Look at some of the most promising ideas in mobile computing.

Hot Prototypes: Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today

We searched the development labs and drawing boards of Silicon Valley and beyond to give you a look at some of the most promising ideas in mobile computing.

Hot Prototypes: Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today

Hot Prototypes: We Have Designs on Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today // Cario Dashboard Computer (Image courtesy of Anna Lopez)

Cario Dashboard Computer: Move Away From the Car, Sir
Cars and computers go together like … cars and collisions. But how do you conveniently add a touch-screen laptop to your automobile? Industrial designer Anna Lopez suggests going with a laptop design that features a full fold-over counterweight base, and a touch-screen to dangle from the central column of the steering wheel. And you thought drivers talking on cell phones were a road menace!

Hot Prototypes: Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today

Hot Prototypes: We Have Designs on Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today // Solar-Powered Netbook (Image courtesy of Nikola Knezevic)

Solar-Powered Netbook: Sunlight Surfing
Right now, you'd need a lot of solar panels to charge a typical laptop. But as netbooks get smaller and use less energy, and as solar panels get more efficient, designer Nikola Knezevic is dreaming of a small solar panel that fits neatly on part of the case and supplies enough power to keep you and your machine working all day long. The technology for a lunar-powered netbook for night owls is likely to have a longer development cycle.

Hot Prototypes: Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today

Hot Prototypes: We Have Designs on Tomorrow's Coolest Gadgets Today // IN Reader (Image courtesy of Seon-Keun Park)

IN Reader: A Newspaper-Size E-Newspaper
Winner of a bronze medal at the IDEA 2009 awards, the IN features a thin, flexible "sheet" for reading news. Park it in the charging cradle (which doubles as a wall clock) overnight; then pick it up in the morning to read updated news from the source of your choice. You enjoy all the convenience of reading a broadsheet without incurring the ink-stained fingers, and without all the cost and waste of paper.

Masc Design Chukka Music Player: Kinetic Audio
The Chukka concept for a portable music player solves two problems at once. First, by using piezoelectricity, it turns kinetic energy into an electric charge -- so you'll never find yourself stuck without tunes while waiting at a bus stop far from home. Second, it gives you something productive to do with your hands, especially if you are prone to snapping your fingers or drumming them on any available surface while listening to funky tracks. Transforming that nervous energy into music-playing energy transforms your twitchy tics into extended battery life for your player. And while spending hours perfecting your Chukka-twirling technique may not do anything for your polo skills, it may give you a huge advantage if miniature nunchaku ever becomes an Olympic sport.

Compenion Tablet PC: Slender and Smooth
Designer Felix Schmidberger's Compenion concept takes tablet technology to a new level, with a sliding display, smooth backlit keyboard, a digital projector and a motion-sensing pen stylus. By the time a manufacturer actually assembles a product with all these features, it will surely be running Windows 7 and not Vista.

Napkin PC: The Computer as Sketchbook
Banking on inexpensive e-ink displays and ever-smaller electronic components, designer Avery Holleman conceives of a computer that encourages spontaneous creativity as handily as a napkin does. A base station charges and houses the processor, and a stylus takes the place of a mouse. The display is persistent, so you can arrange multiple sketches and notes across a table willy-nilly. Genius!

D-Roll Laptop: Totally Tubular
Flexible displays mean exciting new product designs that can look beyond books for inspiration. As a student at Purdue University in Indiana, Hao Hua came up with a design for a laptop that rolls up into a shape similar to that of a mailing tube. The screen and keyboard slide out, and the open design relies on airflow to keep the electronics cool and quiet. A built-in shoulder strap provides a fashionable and convenient way to carry the machine.

Panasonic Hydrogen Fuel Cell Battery: Elementary Power
The idea of using hydrogen fuel cells for power has been popping up since the George W. Bush administration, and companies like UltraCell tend to stress their usefulness in military operations. The underlying idea is that a small device would convert methanol into electricity to charge the internal battery. Unfortunately, companies (like Toshiba) that have displayed prototypes must deal with safety issues related to adding inflammable hydrogen and methanol to occasionally explosive lithium-ion batteries in an electronic device resting customers' laps.

Kyocera Eos: A Fold-Up Phone With Flair
Digital convergence promises to make voice just another stream of data, increasing the difficulty of distinguishing a "phone" from a multipurpose portable computing device. Many designs coming down the pipeline today look like iPhones, with maybe a sliding keyboard thrown in. But Kyocera designer Susan McKinney's Eos prototype for a trifold, wallet-size phone is a breath of fresh air. Its main feature when folded flat is a beautiful, large OLED display. When you unfold the upper third, however, a keyboard and screen present themselves. The device looks as elegant as anything designed by Apple, and the design seems closer to revolutionary than simply evolutionary. No word from Kyocera on whether (as the image above suggests) the Eos can also function as a lawn sprinkler attachment or an ant stake.

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How to Handle an Interrupting Child

Whether you're on the phone, busy on your computer, or talking to another adult, it can be frustrating when your children constantly interrupt you. What's surprising to learn is that they do it because they always get a response from you when they do! They've learned that you are willing to stop what you're doing to answer them. Keep in mind that children are so focused on their own needs that they don't realize that you have needs, too. They can learn how to pay more attention to other people's needs as well as their own, which will help control these endless interruptions.

Give lessons and examples

Teach your children how to determine if something warrants an interruption, as they may have a hard time deciphering when interruptions are justified. Discuss examples of when it's okay to interrupt, such as when someone is at the door, or if a sibling is hurt.

Coach proper manners

Teach your child how to wait for a pause in the conversation and to say, "Excuse me." When she remembers to do this, respond positively. If the interruption is about something that should wait, politely inform your child of this.

Don't answer the question

Many parents admonish kids for interrupting, but in the same breath respond to the child's interrupted request, which just reinforces the habit.

Watch your manners

Parents sometimes jump in so quickly to correct their child's bad manners that they don't realize that the way in which their correction is delivered is itself rude. Use your own good manners to model appropriate communication skills. Pause, look at your child, and say, "I'll be with you in a minute."

Teach "The Squeeze"

Tell your child that if she wants something when you are talking to another adult, she should gently squeeze your arm. You will then squeeze her hand to indicate that you know she is there and will be with her in a minute. At first, respond quickly so your child can see the success of this method. Over time you can wait longer, just give a gentle squeeze every few minutes to remind your child that you remember the request.

Create a busy-box

Put together a box of activities or games that can only be used when you are on the telephone, working at your desk, or talking with an adult. Occasionally refill it with new things or rotate the contents. Be firm about putting them away when you are done. Your child will be look forward to your next conversation, which will be interruption free!

Plan ahead

Before you make a phone call or have a visitor, let your child know what to expect. "I'm going to make a phone call. I'll be a while, so let's get your busy box ready to use while I'm on the phone."

Give praise when deserved

Catching your child doing the right thing can be the best lesson of all. Praise your child for using good manners, for remembering to say "excuse me," and for interrupting only for a valid reason.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley www.pantley.com/elizabeth

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